Have Idea, have Ikea (also rhymes in Russian)

I’ve had a great Saturday, and as Homer Simpson remarked in a classic episode, “I owe it all to not going to church,” or in my case, temple. I’m embarrassed to admit I’ve become rather derelict in my temple attendance, missing both the end of Sukkot and Simchat Torah, but I had the totally legitimate excuse of sickness. This morning, however, I chose to play skip, a choice I actually made last night despite setting my alarm. I decided I was still less than 100% healthy, it would be behoovey to get my Saturday morning sleep. Compounded with the fact that I got drunk with friends Friday night, I slept this morning ‘til almost noon. I had one more, even worse excuse: I had plans to go to a reggae club tonight and wanted to save my strength. I used to pull that sort of thing in high school and college, skipping class during the day so I could go to work or a show at night. I guess you don’t grow out of certain priorities. Anyway when I woke up I had a text from my friend Nadia that plans had changed and reggae was out. Go figure.

I had a nice chicken soup breakfast and cold cereal lunch before meeting Nadia downtown for a movie. On the way we saw Sergei, the husband of my colleague Dasha, who was just returning from an attempt to buy Chuck Berry tickets for the three of us (the box office was inexplicably closed). Imagine: in the third biggest city in Russia, running into an acquaintance who was just doing something that concerns you directly. The funniest part was that, having met Sergei only once before, I wasn’t even sure it was him, so I stared him down until he said hello first. I’m starting to get the hang of this city.

Actually, the chances of that meeting weren’t so small, since Nadia and I were going to the cinema/performance theater where the Chuck Berry concert will be. Cosmos is a huge, beautiful, really cool complex, decorated, like the other theater I visited, to combine classic architecture with modern technology. Between Open Season 2 and Admiral, we chose to see Admiral, and, as it turned out, rightly so. Initially, I had very little interest in this film. It’s the story of a naval officer of the White Guard (the tsar’s army), living and loving through the Revolution. I thought it would be a proper balance of romantic sap and cheap, Hollywood-style special effects. How wrong I was. The film was so gripping, so moving, I cried in the middle and sobbed at the end. I’m generally not drawn in by war movies, but this was made in the tradition of Saving Private Ryan; from the very beginning, you’re right in there with the soldiers. Moreover, since the hero is a member of the White Guard, the filmmaker didn’t exactly glorify the revolution. Even the love story was complicated and beautiful. The male lead is the same guy from the Night and Day Watch movies, and according to Nadia is ubiquitous in Russian cinema, and the female lead bears a striking resemblance to Anna Karenina. I sincerely hope this movie makes its way to America, where with the help of subtitles, you all can catch all the nuances that I missed.

After the movie, and my crying-headache, Nadia asked what plans I have for tomorrow. It turns out we both, independently of each other, planned to go to the Mega shopping mall. I had actually wanted to ask her to go with me, but I didn’t want to be needy or annoying. This works out perfectly; I’ll help her pick out new pants and she’ll help me pick out a new mattress at IKEA. Now I’m home, watching The Incredibles dubbed into Russian on tv. It wants for the voice talents of the original, but loses nothing in the categories of cute and clever. All I plan to do tonight is measure my bed and kiss its uncomfortable Soviet ass goodbye. Well, goodnight!

Epilogue: bought the mattress, but instead of ordering a taxi, I apparently ordered next day delivery. Anyway I got it this morning.